Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Zombies Are Coming!

The Zombies Are Coming!
Friday, September 28, 2012
by Burt Prelutsky

Let’s face it, there is definitely something very spooky about liberals. They’re a lot like those creatures in horror movies, the undead, who are always lurking around looking to turn normal people into vampires or zombies. They’re often looking for human brains, which, God knows they could certainly use, but it’s not for themselves, but to install in the heads of monsters they’ve cobbled together in their basements.

In the movies at least, people can generally avoid running into them so long as they stay out of haunted houses, cemeteries and dark cellars. In real life, it’s much more difficult because they’re everywhere. Turn on your TV and there’s Steny Hoyer, Joe Biden or Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, saying something so stupid, it’s frightening. And if you happened to find yourself in a cemetery at night and bumped into Harry Reid, wouldn’t you assume that he was there to oversee your burial?

Scariest of all is Barack Obama because he’s the one with the power to create the most mischief. But what I don’t get is why people are making such a big thing of a 1998 video in which he announced that he was in favor of the redistribution of wealth. Why go back 14 years? He said the same thing during the current century, in 2008 to be exact, to Joe the Plumber. He also famously said at about the same time that the major failing of the Constitution and the Civil Rights Movement is that neither dealt with the redistribution of wealth.

This is the same palooka who said that his energy policy would send prices soaring, and whose energy czar said he wished gas prices would go to $10-a-gallon in order to hasten the day when green energy would be our only option.

It just seems to me that going back 14 years in order to nail this putz with his own words is sort of like the other side trying to portray Romney as Al Capone because he bullied some kid in high school. I mean, Obama has not only done his level best to destroy the coal and oil industries in America, thus helping to double gas prices at the pump over the past four years, but his economic policies have drained thousands of dollars from the net worth of the average American, kept the unemployment rate at record highs, and, for good measure, is one of the few people who has ever voted in favor of partial-birth abortions. Talk about your ghouls. This schmuck even gives the Mummy the willies.

Even in the area of foreign policy, Obama can’t help showing off his incompetence. First, he kicked things off by going to Cairo in 2009, apologizing for American exceptionalism, and kissing the behinds of the assembled Arabs and Muslims. Then, when in spite of four years of bowing and scraping, those same people showed their contempt for him by storming our embassy in Libya and murdering four Americans, including our ambassador, he denied it was an act of terrorism. He even made his ambassador to the U.N., Susan Rice, go on every TV show except Dancing With the Stars, to announce that it was a spontaneous uprising brought about by a video that was seen by fewer people than Catwoman.

For eight days, poor Jay Carney had to tell the White House press corps that there was no possible way to tell that the attack had been planned and carried out by Muslim terrorists. And then, on the ninth day, voila, there was the Press Secretary not only admitting that it was a terrorist attack, but that it was, of all things, “self-evident”!

Even I sympathized with the boyish-looking Carney. He was probably hired in the first place when Robert Gibbs stepped down because, unlike Gibbs, he looked like he could be trusted near a playground filled with kids. However, he has lost his innocence over the past couple of years. Dealing with the Libyan kerfuffle, he had to spin so hard and so fast for Obama that he finally screwed himself into the floor until all that could be seen of him was the top of his head and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.

While Obama continues to take bows for giving the order to kill Osama bin Laden, someone should constantly remind him that anyone, including Romney, I and my aunt Sophie, would have given the same order. What none of us would have done, however, was to display such weakness and to send such mixed messages to our enemies in North Africa and the Middle East that a bunch of third world thugs would have reason to believe they could burn down our embassy and slaughter Americans with impunity.

For all his various failings, when Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/01, George Bush went to war. When Islamic terrorists attacked America on 9/11/12, Barack Obama said they weren’t really attacking us and they weren’t even terrorists; they were actually just a bunch of film critics who disliked a certain movie and, instead of giving it a really bad review, decided to go on a killing spree.

I guess we can only hope that these folks never get wind of Mommie Dearest, Heaven’s Gate or Freddy Got Fingered, or it could be the end of life on earth as we’ve known it.

To read another article by Burt Prelutsky, click here.

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