Monday, December 3, 2012
by Burt Prelutsky
When Obama pardoned the Thanksgiving turkey, I said that tradition had nothing to do with it. I attributed it to professional courtesy.
For years now, we have heard people bemoan the fact that, thanks to the profligate ways of Barack Obama, we will be leaving our children and grandchildren with enormous debt. Considering the way the young have flocked out twice to help elect Obama, I say it serves them right. In fact, I say let’s pile it on!
Speaking of the election, otherwise known as Another Day of Infamy, it’s said that in the Valley of the Blind, the one-eyed man is king. Unfortunately, this isn’t a monarchy. In a republic, as we’ve discovered time and again, the blind rule.
Although they are always around us, it’s generally pretty easy to ignore atheists. It’s mainly during the holiday season that they scurry out from under rocks in order to put a damper on Christmas. In a way, they’re like ants. You know they’re out there, but unless you go on a picnic, you forget how annoying they can be.
While I find it hard to imagine why atheists want to be noticed by normal people, it has occurred to me that if they had a sense of humor or irony, they would realize how totally absurd it is to make a religion out of opposition to religion.
Recently, I read an account of Osama bin Laden’s burial on May 2, 2011. It seems, according to Rear-Admiral Charles Gaouette, his body was first bathed and placed in a white sheet. Then the body was placed in a weighted bag. A military officer read prepared religious remarks which were then translated into Arabic. After that, the body was placed on a board, which was then tipped up, and the corpse slid into the sea.
I’m surprised he wasn’t accorded a 21-gun salute. If I had been in charge of the event, the bag would have been weighted with pig intestines. If memory serves, bin Laden was responsible for murdering over 3,000 Americans. What is wrong with this administration that they would feel compelled to give the Islamic creep such a respectful send-off?
Makes you wonder what will happen when Charles Manson finally kicks the bucket. Internment at Arlington?
A recent poll determined that most Americans regard Canada as our closest ally. In second place was Great Britain. The next four were Israel, Japan, Germany and France. I found it interesting that two of the top five were our sworn enemies 70 years ago. And, frankly, I found it odd that France wound up ahead of, say, Australia, Poland, Botswana, Costa Rica and the Czech Republic. The French must have one hell of a terrific publicist.
Recently, I came up with the suggestion that wealthy conservatives quit blowing their wad on occasional elections, and that, instead, they spend their money buying up newspapers, magazines and TV stations. That’s a far better way of swaying public opinion in the long run.
In a similar vein, I would suggest that instead of having them show up to do occasional segments on Bill O’Reilly’s “Factor,” Fox should give guys like Dennis Miller, Adam Carolla and Greg Gutfeld, their own shows.
Young people aren’t going to sit through 55 minutes of O’Reilly’s endless ego-tripping in order to watch a few minutes of comedy, but they might very well switch over from Bill Maher, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, to watch comedians ridicule such rich, ripe targets as Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Al Franken, Joe Biden, Charley Rangel, Michael Bloomberg, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Henry Waxman.
Recently, I was asked the question that allegedly stumped Sigmund Freud: What do women want? After giving it some thought, I came up with: Women want what they don’t need, but suspect that other women have.
Speaking of women, rumor has it that Bill Clinton has now asked Paula Broadwell to write his biography.
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To read another article by Burt Prelutsky, click here.
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