by Burt Prelutsky
Thursday, December 8, 2011
One of my main objections to registered Independents is that they love to announce that there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans. That is such a dumb remark that one would only expect to hear it uttered by liberals.
Anyone unable to see any difference between the two parties really hasn’t been paying any attention. Even if you’re not a fan of Mitch McConnell or John Boehner, who but a moron would claim they’re not a major improvement over Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi?
The other bit of folk wisdom that makes my head feel like it’s about to explode is that we should evict all the politicians in the House and Senate. I know that people who say this regard themselves as politically astute, but it’s actually evidence that they’re too lazy to gather some facts or too stubborn to recognize the facts when presented with them. After all, why should anyone want to send Darrell Issa, Michele Bachmann or Paul Ryan, home? Lumping them with such pinheads as Patty Murray, Henry Waxman, Dick Durbin, Chuck Schumer or the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, makes no sense at all.
Speaking of the Caucus, can you even imagine the depths of stupidity reached when that gang congregates for a meeting? Under normal conditions, you would have to be inside a prison in order to find 40 people who were that ignorant and that corrupt. Actually, you’d have to be in two prisons because in this rancid group there are both males and females, although in a few instances it’s not that easy telling them apart.
All by himself, Allen West has an IQ equal to any five of them. Make that 10 if Jesse Jackson, Jr., John Conyers, Emanuel Cleaver, Barbara Lee, Jim Clyburn, Laura Richardson, Keith Ellison, John Lewis, Andre Carson and Sheila Jackson Lee, are the 10 you have in mind.
The surprising thing is that they don’t all hail from the Bay Area. At the risk of sounding as if I, a Californian, were bragging, there is no place in America where the population is as goofy and the politicians half as loony as they are in the area surrounding San Francisco. Besides being home base to the likes of Jerry Brown, Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsome, and being a sanctuary city; the area includes Berkeley, where a city council regularly announces its foreign policy decisions; and Oakland, where Mayor Jean Quan, who is probably the only Asian in America with an IQ lower than her body temperature, recently gave a thumbs-up to the local Occupy Wall Street thugs the day after they put several Oakland cops in the hospital.
Speaking of stupidity, French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Obama, two guys who regard themselves as brilliant, although not bright enough to know their microphones were on, apparently had this exchange at the recent G-20 summit: Sarkozy: “I can’t stand Netanyahu. He’s a liar.” Obama: “You’re sick of him, but I have to deal with him every day.” Just how dumb is that? Well, Sarkozy, who’s allegedly Jewish, prefers dealing with Obama to dealing with the Prime Minister of Israel, even though everyone who isn’t stupid enough to say really dumb things into a live mic knows that nobody in public life, including Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro, lies as much as Obama. While Sarkozy was apparently out shopping for elevator shoes, the rest of us have spent the past four years listening to Obama audition for the title role in “Pinocchio! The Musical!”
One of the biggest lies that Obama has repeated like a parrot gone berserk is that tens of millions of Americans would starve if not for him and his congressional cronies. The so-called poverty line is a line, okay, a line of political poop. In spite of Obama, Pelosi and Reid, insisting that 43 million of us are living in more deplorable conditions than the folks in Bangladesh, other more reliable statistics, belie their lies.
For instance, 99.6% of “poor” Americans own refrigerators; 97.7% own TV sets, with 65.1% owning more than one and 63.7% having either a cable or satellite connection. What’s more, 81.4% have air conditioning, 70.6% own at least one VCR and 64.8% own a DVD player. Over 80% have microwaves; over 60% have cordless phones and clothes washers; while over 50% have cellular phones, clothes dryers and ceiling fans. In addition, 100% of them have kids whose sneakers cost upwards of $120.
While it’s true that a scant 0.6% have their own Jacuzzis, we mustn’t overlook the fact that they also get food stamps, subsidized housing and health care. Their kids get free school breakfasts and lunches; and if they happen to be illegal aliens who don’t even belong here, their kids also receive in-state college tuition in more than one state. And perhaps best of all, because what money they do earn is generally off the books, they not only don’t have to pay income tax, they actually get some of our tax dollars sent to them by a government hoping the bribes will continue to pay off in votes from the plantation.
So, just in case you were wondering how it is that the Left gets to pretend that conservatives are so heartless when it comes to The Poor, now you know. Between the liars in the media and the liberals in Washington, they just keep feeding us one whopper after another, generally without fries.
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by Burt Prelutsky
Monday, December 5, 2011
In recent years, there have been several instances of female high school teachers having sex with their male students. I do not approve of such behavior, and only the most cynical among you would even think to suggest that it’s because it’s been 54 years since I graduated. Understand, I do not sanction such behavior, but it strikes me as a very long stretch when people compare it to teenage girls being seduced by their 35-year-old male teachers.
Whenever I hear about these women, my initial reaction is to wonder how they were able to stand the stench. Having been around teenage boys and having been one myself, I know that in terms of hygiene, they have far more in common with those clods squatting in Occupy Wall Street shanty towns than they do with the folks in soap and shampoo commercials.
As for their “victims,” show me a teenage boy who is traumatized by the experience and I’ll show you a young lad who was blindsided when he got a “C” in the class in spite of his extracurricular activities.
It’s my opinion that these oddball women shouldn’t go to jail, but they should have to undergo therapy in order to deal with their mental disorders and they should have their teaching credentials revoked for their lack of mature judgment. Then they can go run for Congress, where such failings are appreciated.
It occurs to me that liberals are very much like jihadists. In Islamic countries, it’s not uncommon for Muslims to be tried and executed for the crime of apostasy. An apostate is a Muslim who converts to another religion. In our own country, although the punishment isn’t as severe, it mirrors the way that liberals tar and feather black conservatives. If those on the Left had the authority of Iran’s mullahs, would anyone be terribly surprised if they condemned the likes of Thomas Sowell, Allen West, Walter Williams, Condoleezza Rice and Herman Cain, for crimes against the party?
To recognize how true that is, you merely have to acknowledge that liberals are always quick to label a black conservative an oreo, but when someone such as Barack Obama, who is literally half-and-half, comes along, the media never refers to him as any kind of cookie.
Speaking of Obama, I must confess that even though I was appalled when he was elected, it had nothing to do with his race. It had everything to do with those he had acknowledged befriending in high school, college and the Chicago political swamp -- radicals, racists and scoundrels named Frank Marshall Davis, Bill Ayers, Bernadine Dohrn, Tony Rezko, Rahm Emanuel, Van Jones, Valerie Jarrett and Jeremiah Wright -- and a political agenda that emphasized destroying the coal industry, sending energy costs soaring and redistributing America’s wealth.
In short, faced with being stuck with a president I abhorred, I was desperate to find an upside to his victory. The only thing I could glom on to was that he seemed to have a stable family, and I hoped he and his wife would use that to benefit not only blacks, but the entire country. After all, it’s no secret that the illegitimate birth rate among blacks is 70% and even higher in such urban communities as Detroit and Philadelphia, while yet another unpleasant fact of life is that the most common denominator among criminals is that they are men and women raised in fatherless homes.
But, as is usual when anyone has high expectations of the Obamas, my hopes were quickly dashed. In three years, Barack hasn’t once addressed the problem, even though he has rarely gone 24 hours without taking Republicans to task over one stupid thing or another.
As for Michelle, on those rare occasions when she hasn’t been enjoying the high life on our dime, she’s used her own bully pulpit -- with the emphasis on bully -- to lecture us about what we feed our kids. With the black community in utter shambles, this Imelda Marcos-wannabe is fussing about calories, reminding us of the guy on the Titanic who was busily rearranging the deck chairs.
With the election now less than a year away, the only aspect of Obama’s presidency that I’ve approved of was his use of drones against jihadists in the Middle East. They’ve served as a pleasant change from the drones he usually relies on to fight his battles; namely, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Charles Schumer, Henry Waxman, Jay Carney and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
The scary thing is that the military drones have been so effective, it might give Obama’s re-election team some nasty ideas.
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